Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Some Kind of Monster

In this strange house, girls who are "troubled" are locked away in little rooms where polite society doesn't have to look at their haunted faces. In this place you'll find the girls who are deemed too fat, the girls who are deemed too skinny, the girls who don't talk right and the girls who don't look right. All of these girls have been told that there is something wrong with them and that if they wish to fit into that "polite society" that doesn't want them as they are now, they must fix that which is wrong with them or rather, it must be fixed for them.

Most of these girls have been labeled "crazy" and throughout the years, one or two could have been called a "monster" but these are just words and to a woman who spent her youth here in this place, words mean nothing. It is actions that speak the loudest. It is actions that helped her survive here, it is actions that helped her escape here, and it is actions – her actions – that turned the nickname the orderlies gave her into one of the most feared names in women's wrestling: HAVOK.

"This is the face that stones you cold, this is the moment that needs to breathe. These are the claws that scratch these wounds. This is the pain that never leaves."

On evenings, as Spring gives way to Summer, Havok will return to this place and watch from the shadows. This place brings back horrible memories, scars on her psyche that will never heal. It is here now that she watches a new generation of girls who, just like her, have been labeled outcasts by a world that has no place for them. Most of these girls will never know that there is more than this prison; they will never know that all they need to do is to stand up and fight.

She wants desperately to tell them that it doesn't matter about your looks or your weight or your scars, that it doesn't matter if you are weird or different. The only thing that matters is that you are true to yourself. She can't tell them this, though, at least not directly. All Havok can do is lead by example, and she will do that when she returns to the six-sided ring.

"These are the fears that swing overhead, these are the weights that hold you down. This is the end that will never end, this is the voice of silence no more."

As bad as this place is, it is the place that shaped her character, and the place where a violent young woman named Jessicka earned the name "Havok" because of her penchant for destruction. This is also the place that Havok escaped from, the details of which is a story for another time, but know that what she did should inspire others like her to do the same.

What Havok sees in the girls in this place is the army that she would like to one day lead — an army of individuals to follow her into battle against the mindless zombies that think they know what a woman should and shouldn't be. But for now, Havok knows this is a battle she must fight alone and after a long hiatus, she is ready to return to the battlefield of the Knockouts division.

In her absence, the Knockouts division has become a Dollhouse where perfect little girls play silly little games. Well, Havok doesn't play games and she is not a doll. She tightens her gas mask and steps from the shadows into the night. She is a monster...

"Some kind of monster... This monster lives."

(The song "Some Kind of Monster" is performed by Metallica, from their album St. Anger)